PO Box 306, Glasgow, G21 2AE, Scotland

The Martin O'Neill Story by Anna Smith and David McCarthy; published by the Daily Record; 167 pages (24 pages of pictures); £5.95

This effort not only fails to hit the woodwork, it sails out of the ground and lands in a muddy puddle behind the gas works, hopefully never to be seen again.

'The Martin O'Neill Story' by Anna Smith and David McCarthy is not only one of the worst books on a Celtic-related theme ever written, it is simply one of the worst books ever written.

As befits a Daily Retard publication, it is a tacky attempted cash-in with no soul and ten bob production values.

It has obviously had no input whatsoever from Martin O'Neill himself, the authors preferring instead to rely on the testimony of people who knew him when he was six or who once had lunch with him in order to gain some insight into what makes the Celtic manager tick.

I can't help but get the feeling that others closer to O'Neill who helped with contributions have been duped. Surely had they known how awful this book was going to turn out they would have sent this pair back to the Retard office to concentrate on chasing ambulances and hanging round the entrance to the High Court.

The two authors are so ignorant about football that they are unintentionally funny. Barcelona's stadium is the 'New Camp' while Martin O'Neill's boyhood hero was the legendary Hungarian forward 'Frank Puskas'.

Rubbish as it is, the authors must have liked what they were writing, because large chunks of the book start reappearing after a while. Clough's stories about O'Neill and John Robertson appear on page 52 and then again 20 pages later!

Its one redeeming feature is that for every copy sold a donation is sent to the children's cancer unit in the Royal Belfast Hospital.

Spare yourself the book and just send your donations straight to the hospital.