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Green and Whitewash - Celtic v Rangers Six Famous Victories; Celtic FC; 90 minutes; video £14.99 - DVD £19.99

Another month, another Celtic video, this time on the subject of our recent string of victories against TFOD.

These things must rake in a few quid for Celtic, given the alacrity with which they're churning them out these days, and at least they've got some material to use in them. The Huns' commercial department must be looking on green with envy (or whatever colour they turn when they're envious - puce?). I'd love to be a fly on the wall when they're coming up with the big Christmas release this year. Surely Jordan and Fernando Ricksen must be in with a shout?

Anyway, back to the latest offering from the refugees from the Celtic Newsroom, and the first thing to note is that this is a strictly no frills production. The budget obviously couldn't stretch to a 'personality' to do the links in between matches and so we've got to rely on either Erchie McPherson or Rob the Gob to give us a bit of context in their pre-match ramblings. The exception is the final game of last season (the last one covered in the sequence of six) where the commentary is by Tony Hamilton and the crowd effects have clearly been dubbed on at a later stage, a la Scotsport circa Arthur Montford and Alex Cameron, rendering this the least watchable segment of what is otherwise quite an enjoyable hour and a half.

If you're like me you'll enjoy reminiscing about some of the personnel who are no longer with us - mainly Huns who had spectacularly short careers at Ibrox such as Cannigia, Frank de Boer, Henning Berg... the list goes on - and you'll revel in watching the disintegration of the Eckmeister as he gets progressively glummer with each passing game.

By the way, whatever did happen to the wee shopping lists he used to write out during the match?

As you might expect there's not too much by way of opposition goalmouth action depicted here, but it's not because they've tried to be deliberately biased; Rangers have hardly had a shot at the Celtic goal for about two years. In the interest of balance we get to see what pathetic efforts they have had, and these include some of the most wayward shooting since Home Secretary David Blunkett guested for his local darts team as well as the odd risible cross slung hopefully in the general direction of the Hoops' penalty box.

Archie gets quite excited at these bits, exclaiming 'Wooof! Just past the post there!' as the ball rebounds off a spectator sitting halfway up the Jock Stein Stand.

You'll also enjoy a good laugh at some of the defenders Rangers have fielded against Larsson and company over the last couple of seasons. Nobody is going to convince me that Lorenzo Amoruso was coached by anybody other than the Marx Brothers.

Action all the way and goals galore, but with no extras whatsoever on the DVD and a ten minute sequence at the end spoiled by the dubbed amateurish commentary, at just under twenty quid it's another rip-off courtesy of our ever-benevolent board.

MARMADUKE BAGLEHOLE

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