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Hoops we did it again

Hoops We Did It Again: Record Breaking Season 2001-02; Freemantle Video/ Celtic FC; 110 minutes approx; 12.99

Tony Roper reprises his role as the loveable Mr. Celebration in this follow up to last year's Treble video. Like its predecessor it certainly wins in terms of its comprehensive coverage of all the league games played by the Hoops last season. It also takes in the Champions League, and so if you want to enjoy all the successful moments from 2001-02 then this is the video for you.

If, on the other hand, you are the sort of supporter who doesn't have an attack of the vapours at the sight of the opposition having the audacity to score a goal against our beloved Hooped Heroes then you might find yourself becoming a tad frustrated, not to say downright irked.

In true Pravda fashion, goals scored by teams against Celtic are dutifully airbrushed out. I know there weren't that many, but come on doc, you can give it to me straight, I can take it. After all, I am fully aware that Celtic win the league at the end. Similarly, of the League Cup and Scottish Cup there is not a mention. Winston Smith has simply whooshed the offending video tapes away as if they never happened, which to me indicates a slightly warped and curiously disturbing for of censorial control from someone in officialdom.

Celtic's achievements in the league last season were indeed prodigious, but to hear Tony Roper rhyme them off like a litany sounded like someone up there was trying to reassure me that, despite signs to the contrary towards the end of the campaign, everything is alright and that I should be happy in this Huxleyesque Brave View World. Still, it was never as bad as the time the old board set Tiger Tim up to stand in the centre circle and read out a list of achievements that went something like, 'Premier Division, third place... Scottish Cup quarter finalists...'

Call me a jaded old cynic if you like, but these videos are being churned out at the rate of three or four a year now. It would take something exceptional now to hold me riveted to the screen without stifling the occasional yawn, and this film isn't it. It'll fill in the time while you meet up with your comrades before heading out for the match and there might even be one or two incidents that will engender some discussion (unless you're keen to analyse Celtic's defensive frailties that is) but it's little more than a lightweight. It sticks to its tried and tested formula - montage of goals set to music, the usual stuff - and you'll enjoy seeing plenty of goals flying in, but for a serious assessment of the season we'll just have to wait until the likes of Campbell and Woods start branching out into film making.

Deep down, I actually don't mind buying these official videos. I know they're a bit of a rip-off, but I'm assured the money goes towards keeping Bobby Petta's sports car on the road and other such worthy causes, so I'll gladly do my bit in the front line trenches of the Celtic Superstore.

I just wish they didn't treat me like an idiot with a nervous disposition while I'm at it.

MARMADUKE BAGLEHOLE

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