SPL Sunday November 20th

Rangers 1

Celtic 2

0:1 Petrov 21
0:2 Bellamy 34
1:2 Thompson 88

Att: 49,593

MIB: Stuart Dougal

Celtic:
Marshall Agathe Balde Varga McNamara Petrov Sutton Lennon Thompson Bellamy Hartson
subs
Beattie for Bellamy 48
Wallace for Beattie 90

The Death Star exploded in a mass of green and white Pepperami wrappers, hailing the Champions, as they dispatched the Ibrox also rans with ease and no lack of aplomb. A pulsating first forty five minutes saw Bellamy torment the Orcs rear guard , as our modern day Messiah was met by an assortment of ragged, blue clad footballing lepers and cripples, wanting cured of any pretensions they might have of winning the SPL. Hammered on their own midden, in front of their own hate filled hordes, they skulked out of Ibrox at the end, with not even the tube open to let them back underground early. A dejected, defeated rabble, humbled and bending the knee to a hardened Celtic XI, who were giving it the 'Bouncy bouncy' big time!

The Hoops were in no danger in this game, no matter how much possession or how many chances the Orcs had. It was all over in the first 35 minutes. Bellamy was on fire as he panicked Krygiakos and left Starvin' Marvin hobbling in his wake. With only two minutes on the clock, he had forced a corner from a jittery home defence. Ten minutes later he had them turning circles like carthorses in a circus ring, only to tee up Sutton for a woeful mis-kick. Lennon nearly managed to net from the ensuing fracas and was unlucky to have his shot saved by an overwhelmed Waterreus. The writing was on the wall for Eck as his teams best was 'Simply not good enough!' Perhaps they should play that over the Ibrox tannoy before the next home game.

As Agathe got in on the act, so Eck's house of cards collapsed. The Frenchman left Vignal at Govan cross and sent in a deft cross for Stan to head home. This was well received by the Orcs who showered Petrov and Hartson with missiles, though only a cup of coke connected. How will the SFA handle this? We'll just have to wait and see, though I won't hold my breath for a fine or an arrest by the cops, who will of course review video evidence along side the Rangers security.

Ten minutes later and Bellamy made it 2:0 with a superb solo effort that has all but won Celtic the league trophy. Cutting in from the left he toyed with Krygiakos, before dismissing his presence and sending in a superb right foot shot that curled round a floundering Waterreus. It was all over bar the shouting.

The Sith tried to rally, but Marshall kept them at bay. The second period was a little more worrying, especially as Bellamy hobbled off after three minutes to be replaced by Beattie. All brawn and pace, Beattie twice had the opportunity to score. One effort was blocked by Water rat , the other he skied embarrassingly wide. He was later replaced by Wallace, which spared him any more blushes. Despite all this , the Sieve held the fort with Agathe clearing off the line and Marshall making a string of good saves. The Orcs managed a late goal, when Thompson beat Marshall at his near post, but it was too little too late. Celtic emerged triumphant, as the Death Star exploded into silence at the home end and the Hoops bouncy bouncied off to party.