SPL Saturday March 8th 2003

Celtic 1

Rangers 0

1:0 Hartson (57)

Att: 58,787

MIB: Mike McCurry

Celtic: Douglas; Valgaeren, Balde, Mjallby; Agathe (Sylla 34), Lennon, Lambert, Petrov (McNamara 84), Thompson; Sutton, Hartson

On paper a narrow victory, but in reality this was as one-sided an Old Firm as we've seen for ages. The Celtic defence which had conceded some uncharacteristically sloppy goals against Hibs was restored to full strength with Balde, Douglas and Mjallby back and they were rarely troubled by a powder puff Rangers forward line. The Old Guard in midfield completely dominated Bammy and Rickety while Hartson and Sutton compensated for the lack of Larsson's guile with performances reminiscent of old black and white movietone newsreels. LA Confidential and Clog More simply didn't want to know. It was just as well, of course, because anything less than a win would have meant the Huns opening up an uncomfortable gap at the top of the table.

Although there were few clear penalty box chances in the game, those that were created fell to Celtic, and to Hartson in particular. On two occasions the inability of the hopeless Rangers defence to clear straightforward crosses left the big Welshman with the goal gaping, but both times he contrived to miss what, in technical parlance, were sitters. Never mind. He made up for it on the hour mark.

The goal, when it came, was a thing of beauty. Arteta was caught in possession for the umpteenth time in midfield and the ball was quickly swept forward to Thompson. His long diagonal pass was aimed at Chris Sutton, charging through the middle and guarded by two Rangers defenders. The Celtic striker leapt like the proverbial salmon while Lorenzo leapt like a tin of salmon and Bonnisel - what a great acquisition he looks - leapt like a Petri dish swabbed with salmonella. Sutton guided the ball with his head into the path of Hartson and the striker deemed by the Ibrox medical staff too unfit to hobble up the hallowed marble staircase buried it behind Klos for his 21st of the season so far.

The way the match had gone it must have been obvious even to the most rabid Hun (and there were quite a few of them occupying their dingy corner) that there would be no way back. The disappointing aspect of the game is that the Hoops didn't go on to make the scoreline a more accurate reflection of the play. When tactical genius Alex McLeish began throwing on forwards the gaps were appearing all over the pitch and as the game wore on Celtic were looking more and more like scoring another on the break.

At which point we would like to congratulate big Eck for helping to take some of the inevitable tension out of the Old Firm atmosphere by bringing on Steven Thompson. Was this something to do with Comic Relief? He certainly gave us a laugh anyway with his hilarious comedy striker routine. And when Bert came on... well, we just fell about the place!

In the last desperate minutes of the game big LA Blaw gave everybody in the upper tier of the stand a fright when he lined up to blast one of his skidmark free-kicks (surely 'trademark' free-kicks? ed). He actually connected properly as well, but he merely succeeded in giving Rab Douglas the chance to atone for his ineptitude in the fist Old Firm game of the season by pulling off a good save.

Once more the players came up with the goods when it mattered most and they have shown yet again that they are willing to draw on incredible reserves of fortitude in these big games. For Rangers, it's the end of all this nonsense about hoodoos. They've carried a Satanic amount of luck against us this season. Hopefully now they've used it all up.

MANFRED LURKER

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Rangers were well beaten and, in fact, this was as comprehensive a 1:0 as you'll ever see. Justice done at last. Finally we can put a stop to the endless flow of mince about the Cat in the Hat and his mystic powers in the Old Firm game. The only grey spot of the day was the fact that we couldn't kill the game off.

That said, they barely threatened. Barry Ferguson: better than Lambert? Not in this life. The new McStay?!? Even at the very end of his career when he could barely run McStay was never this anonymous. Player of Year?? Now the hacks really are having a laugh.

The SPL were also clearly having a laugh when they made McCurry the ref for the day. We don't expect to get too many penalties against Rangers, but we do like to get the really blatant ones. No dice with Mike though. It would also be nice to think that a player already booked would get another card for, say, going in with his studs showing, or kicking an opponent off the ball. Obviously the refs are tired of sending Ricksen off in this fixture. And of course the golden boy Bazza simply can't be booked. Can't have a disciplinary case winning the Player of the Year can we? So it stayed eleven a side.

There wasn't much in the game for the first half; Hartson could maybe have scored with a half chance, but the ball was travelling through pretty quick, don't know if even Henrik would have made much of it. Celtic were nonetheless doing pretty well up front. Sutton had Moore all over the place. A fit Larsson's sharpness would have finished this game off after 20 minutes. They were taking some rare old risks at the back but Hartson just didn't have the pace to capitalise on it.

The removal of Agathe, who was threatening to demolish his hapless wee opponent in a Petta v Ricksen way, hampered us slightly. Without Larsson we haven't really been given a hope of doing anything other than crumpling in heap and weeping, which is why it's been all the more satisfying to watch the team go from strength to strength. As Lennon said after the game 'We out everythinged them'.

0:0 at half time was an injustice. Celtic were clearly better, although it must be said that Lennon and Petrov were notably below par.

Not so in the second half. We won this game in the midfield, after the break Petrov came out of his shell, Lennon finally woke up, and the Hoops controlled it. We should have taken the lead when Hartson had a free header from a corner, but his effort was wildly off target. It seemed like an opportunity lost, but a few minutes later he made amends.

Arteta was nanning around in the midfield being 'creative' in his useless sort of way. Lennon and Petrov sorted that out and gave the ball to Thompson. He floated the ball over to Sutton. LA had so much faith in Bonnisel that he left Hartson to try and challenge Sutton. Whoops. Not only did Sutton knock the ball down perfectly, but Hartson now had time to compose himself and crash the ball past Klod.

McLeish then showed what a tactical master he is by throwing on every forward he had. This had the wonderful effect of making them even more disjointed, reducing any threat even further. The only nervous moment came when LA had a free kick right at the death. Happily Rab was in no mood to repeat his abberation of last time and the game was won. Good for us.

The league is very much winable now, and good for Hartson. His only previous goals against them have been in 3:2 defeats. It was nice to see him finally get one that mattered. Bad knee that scuppered your transfer wasn't it John?

With his SFA hearing just around the corner a stadium of 'Crazee Celtic fans' was not exactly what the doctor ordered for LA Blaw. How fitting then that the stadium PA controller put on a suitable song for us all to leave the stadium with - Slade singing Mama we're all Crazee Now!

AB MURDOCH