SPL Saturday August 10th

Aberdeen 0

Celtic 4

0:1 Mjallby (5); 0:2 Sutton (33); 0:3 Sylla (53); 0:4 Lambert (66)

Att:17,284

MIB: Stuart Dougal

Celtic: Douglas; Mjallby (Crainey 74), Balde, Valgaeren; Sylla, Lambert, Lennon, Petrov (Maloney 74), Petta (Fernandez 74); Sutton, Larsson

One of the most one sided contests since the Titanic took on an Iceberg. And to think we actually dropped three points here last season!

The SS Pittodrie took only five minutes before it foundered on the Mjallby rock and went down quicker than Pamela Bordes' drawers at a Tory party conference.

Larsson had already put one over the bar as early as the second minute, before a Petta cross found the big Swede at the back post alongside a couple of Turnips in red. Mjallby had only to touch the ball to put it into the pokey and put Celtic one up.

How it took another 30 minutes before a Sutton header made it 2:0 is a mystery. Even a flock of Seagulls was wheeling over the ground, like vultures, in anticipation of a kill, such was Celtic's dominance. Larsson, Sylla and Petrov all squandered gilt edged chances in the first half.

The second forty five were much the same as the first, with Sylla eventually -or, dare I say, inevitably - scoring, so many chances were the Hoops making, in what was an exhibition display .

The Sheepies at this point were looking for the lifeboats, only to find they had been scuppered and fighting soon broke out among the crew. McGuire and McAllister came to blows over who was marking Momo and it needed Kjaer to intervene. Amazingly, MIB Dougal did not produce a red card!

The fourth goal was a peach from Lambert who controlled the ball in the box with his right, before slipping it onto his left and firing past Kjaer.

For the watching Swiss scouts this performance must have been perplexing. Celtic were awesome, but then Abaaadeen were so, so poor. They didn't even manage a real chance in the entire 90 minutes, which left Rab D nothing to do but watch the seagulls, dream of Tippi Hendron and laugh at the Police fighting with the Dons in the crowd. The only cloud in the sky was the profligacy in front of goal. Even Henke didn't find the net, though he did hit a post. Hopefully he will sharpen up for Basle.