SPL Saturday February 16th

Dundee 0

Celtic 3

0:1 Larsson 20; 0:2 Mjallby 43; 0:3 Hartson 76

Att: 10,642

MIB: Mike McCurry

Celtic: Douglas Sutton, Balde, Mjallby; Agathe (Smith ), Lambert (Guppy ), Lennon, Petrov, Thompson Larsson (Moravcik ), Hartson

A master class in football, when all the hacks thought Celtic's bottle had gone.

Despite playing on a pitch that resembled the Somme, the Hoops cruised around in some style, decimating the Dens Park pedestrians and giving Ivano Bonetti a dose of coitus interuptus on his honeymoon. Two up before the break, courtesy of a Larson tap in and a Mjallby header, Bonetti's ragged band of Rancheros were being left looking as exposed as Jamie Theakston's ass on Madam Badass's bondage bar and looking as red around the cheeks.

Ketsbaia was the chief exemplification of this as he waltzed his way up and down the park, only to shoot limply at the finish- a bit like Jamie T allegedly!

This being Dundee, Celtic had to step on a turd. In this instance it was with a sickening squelch as Henrik pulled up with a hamstring injury. The silence among the support was disgusting in its intensity. The thought of the loss of Larsson was too much.

A little jot returned when Hartson scored a peach with a deft chip over the keeper to make it 3-0 and kill the game as any sort of spectacle, until after the whistle when Dario Bonetti squared up to Lennon. The handbags at dawn threatened to get out of control until Taysides finest approached. Like most things about Dundee, this was a total mystery.