letters98

fly the flag

Dear NTV,

I have just returned from a local watering hole having watched a poor Rangers team draw 0:0 at Dens Park to give us a gap of 12 points over Wee Dick's under achievers. Following on from last Sunday and 3:0 against Hibs, things could not improve. That is a fact.

I have to admit, however, to being extremely disappointed at having to watch stewards employed by Celtic PLC (and therefore paid to some degree by ourselves, the fans) confronting a group of fans unfurling a Buckie CSC banner bearing both Scottish and Irish flags at half time in the Jock Stein Stand.

The flag was eventually removed and the reaction of other fans in the ground made it clear that we, the fans ,were not happy about this.

What is the problem with Celtic Supporters displaying their colours at any time during the game? Only last Sunday the Rangers support draped all sorts of banners over the Lions Stand at half time. While not adding to the enjoyment of my half time bovril and rancid pie, it added dubiously to the spectacle that is an Old Firm game. There was no reaction whatsoever to their Red Hand flags and St.Georges Crosses from the Celtic stewards.

They did however come out the traps like Bin Laden running to hide in the Rangers trophy room today at half time to confront our own fans.

At a time when the atmosphere at Celtic Park is well below par on most occasions, why do the powers that be blatantly attempt to suppress the fans who try to inject some craic into the half time break? Has there been an official statement to Supporters' Clubs on this matter?

While I appreciate that club sponsors bring money to the club, surely having their hoardings covered by flags at half time will not damage their business beyond repair?

To the boys in Buckie and all other supporters clubs I say - we've won the League again, fly the flag

MARTIN DORO
by e-mail

Pony and Trap Express

Dear NTV,

Find enclosed a copy of a letter I felt compelled to write to the Daily Express after I had read its coverage of the Rangers AGM:

"Dear Sir,
The inability of Andy McInnes to leave aside his Rangers bias has never been more obviously displayed than in this morning's back page headline.

WhileRangers are in their worst difficulties in years your sports editor has chosen to relegate their stormy agm to the inside back page while devoting his main story to the fact that Celtic also have debt. Perhaps this story was placed there at the request of David Murray, who I have no doubt, is apersonal friend of Mr. McIness.

The use of the word 'pauper' will undoubtedly appeal to the 'Follow Follow' readers, but I cannot ever remember words such as this being associated with the current desperate situation at Ibrox.

I will not buy your paper again until Mr. McInnes has taken up his rightful position with The Rangers News and I will be writing to official and unofficial Celtic publications pointing out the anomalies in your reporting of either side of The Old Firm's plight. It's not as if Celtic are in dire need of making new signings. And that's a fact."

JOHN McVEY
by e-mail

Acronym

Hi There,

Further to your recent suggestions as to what the acronym HUN stands for, in view of the Dutch influence at Castle Greyskull, should it not stand for: Habitually Using Nandralone?

Hail Hail,

CIARAN DOYLE
Cavan

Dirty Tinker

Dear NTV,

Recently I was watching live coverage of the Dunfermline game from the BBC. With the home side already 2:0 down after about twenty minutes I swear I heard the match summariser Trevor Steven say, "There's the Dunfermline manager Jimmy Calderwood, he must be seriously considering tinkering with his tactics."

Disgusting! Maybe if he kept his mind on the game and gave some thought to the positions of his players on the pitch his team wouldn't be 2:0 down after twenty minutes.

It's time the game in this country was cleaned up and I'll be the first to volunteer to get the smut out of the dug outs.

Yours etc.
MARY GREEN AND WHITEHOUSE
The Countryside Alliance Against Tinkering With Your Tactics.

Paranoia

Dear NTV,

In response to your feature on Celtic paranoia (NTV 97), I want to draw your attention to the increasingly visible examples of a similar persecution complex among the gibbering hordes at Ibrox.

After the away game at Kilmarnock at the start of the season during which John Hartson kicked the feet away from under one of the Killie defenders, an angry Billy Goat wrote to Scotland on Sunday asking why video evidence of this was not used to slap a ban on Hartson. The fact that only Fernando Ricksen had been dealt with in this way was, he argued, surely evidence of an anti-Rangers bias.

What this luminary failed to realise was that there was no need of video evidence in the Harston case as the referee had seen the foul and decided not to show the player a card (admittedly a lenient decision). What's more, although a rough tackle, Hartson was at least somewhere in the vicinity of the ball at the time; his was not an off the ball act of violence like Ricksen's.

I have since spotted more examples of this kind of Rangers paranoia and I'm convinced there are enough examples out there to start a competition for the Paranoid Hun of the Year (like the Horse of the Year show but with loonies instead of horses). Perhaps Noam Chomsky could present the winner with a free set of surveillance equipment.

My own candidate for the inaugural PHotY award is Walter Hamilton's contribution to the Daily Rectum's hotline (see above). He also argues that Rangers are being unfairly singled out for trial by video evidence on the basis that "Nothing has been done about Balde throwing a punch at Arvaladze".

Anyone who watched the game could see that Bobo merely raised his arms. At no point did he make a fist or take a swing at the Georgian. This is clear paranoia because it ignores the facts and twists them into a narrative of persecution.

The final sentence sums it up, "It is a witch-hunt against Rangers."

The use of video evidence to punish Ricksen for an offence which no one denies he committed and which otherwise would wrongly have gone unsanctioned is somehow likened to burning people at the stake because they're supposedly possessed by the Devil.

Congratulations Mr. Hamilton. A set of red white and blue phone bugs are in the post.

Yours etc.
BARROW BHOY
Edinburgh.

Dreadlock Holiday

Dear NTV,

Imagine my amazement when, in the wake of another victory over TFOM (The Forces of Mediocrity) - cue even more big match gloating etc. - I was leafing through a magazine when who should I spot but none other than the winning goalscorer Henrik The Great in what can only be describes as full-on holiday mode.

Has OFM packed our star striker off to the Caribbean for a well-deserved vacation or is this some kind of herbal remedy prescribed by Jack Mulhearn? I think we should be told.

Yours in post-match revelry,
C. LYONS Glasgow
(Are you related to the Lyons of Zion? curious ed)