setanta clause

Dear NTV,

I have heard rumours that Setanta are going to revamp their SPL show next season as a result of complaints received about Brown, Hateley and company. Having been an occasional viewer recently I have to say that it can't come too soon.

Bad enough that they couldn't wait to trot out Graeme Roberts for a re-run of his 'How I beat the Celtic in the Scottish Cup' monologue, but they did this without an ounce of pretext. He appeared on their panel for the Motherwell v Celtic game on January 22nd. As far as I know he has no connection with either club, unless you count making most of us want to throw a brick through the telly whenever his mug pops up on it.

Bad enough too, that Craig Burley felt the need to try and spoil whatever pleasure we could derive from an 8:1 victory at East End Park by carping that the margin of victory rendered the SPL an embarrassment. And here's me thinking it was supposed to be the best SPL championship for years?

Burley then went on to deliver a damning analysis of the home side's defending (admittedly shambolic at times, but not for every goal) and pretty much ignoring some brilliant finishing by Zurawski and Maloney. I don't seem to remember the same level of opprobrium being heaped on the same team for a 6:1 defeat at Ibrox on the last day of the season a couple of years ago. Maybe the Setanta team were scared they might have a six game ban slapped on them a la Chris Sutton.

Maybe Burley - fast earning himself a reputation as yet another media Uncle Tim in my view - could let us know whether Manchester United's 9:0 humping of Ipswich or Arsenal's 7:0 demolition of Middlesbrough means the English Premiership is a joke as well? Only last week Nottingham Forest beat Swindon 7:1. Is that enough of a margin to write off League One as well?

The bottom of the barrell for me was reached during the game at Ibrox. John Hartson was scythed down from behind by Rangers' resident Greek tragedy (a tackle deemed unworthy of a yellow card by referee McCurry incidentally) who then compounded matters by collapsing in a heap as BBJ went to remonstrate with him. Nadia collapsed in a heap as if poleaxed in a hammy performance that would have had even Lovelypants blushing with embarrassment (an act of 'simulation' that McCurry thought equally undeserving of a card).

Before he had even seen the replay of the incident on his monitor Jock Brown had launched into his 'serious trouble for Hartson here... He clearly pushes Kyrgiakos to the ground...' monologue. Not even a retraction later once he had had a chance to see the Meatball's performance again.

Unless the rumours I've heard are true and Setanta are indeed about to employ two subs in place of brown and Hateley they'll have to do without my subscription next season.

Yours etc.
MARSHALL McCLUHAN
by e-mail

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Let The People Sing

Dear NTV,

While surfing the web recently, I came across a magnificent old song called 'Hail, Hail, the Gang's all here'. Surely this old marching refrain is the root of our magnificent club anthem. What other song 'Puts Pep' into you like the good old Hail Hail?

I think we should re-adopt the line 'What the Deuce do we care' as this is clearly more in line with our up market fan base. (prawn sandwich, Roy?)

The good old bhoys in the picture look like they're on their way to Forfar (on foot) and have stopped for a quick Hail Hail. I think we should be told what the deuce is going on!

On a slightly different note, having followed Celtic for over three decades, it has been pleasing to hear the many and varied songs the support has sung over the years. Like many fans of a certain age, I remember a time when many songs sung at Celtic Park were political and had little to do with football. This has rightly changed over the years and most reasonable fans accept that this is the way forward. We attract more families and people from various walks of life to Celtic Park these days and we should aspire to be a truly inclusive club. However, at a recent away game I could hear some fans singing the old Irish song, 'The Boys of the Old Brigade.'

Now I have no axe to grind about this particular song apart from a belief that it is not appropriate to sing it at a football match. It certainly antagonised the opposition fans that day and offers people, unfriendly to Celtic, ammunition to deride us. I discussed this at half time with some fans and one mentioned that it was a great tune and someone should write a real Celtic song to it.

With that in mind I enclose my own effort and urge other Celtic fans to get writing. We need real football songs to get behind our multi national, multi faith and multi cultural team. Brother Walfrid would have wanted it that way and so would Jock Stein.

Perhaps the NTV could organise a song writing competition and give us songs we could all sing with pride.

Walfrid's Dream

In the old East end, some Irishmen
With their pastor to the fore,
Had a daring dream, to found a team
And to give pride to the poor
T'was Walfrid's aim to use the game
To unite the Scot and Gael
And he coined a name,
now blessed with fame
And gave 'Celtic' to the world;

Where are the bhoys who won that day
Beneath the Lisbon Sun?
The greatest team, we've ever seen,
When the Lions roared and won!

On a sunny day in the month of May
In a country far away
A man called Stein and his Celtic team
Showed the world how to play
We sang with pride as his Celtic Side
Swept Inter all Away
The cup was won, 'neath the Lisbon sun
On the 25th of May

Where are the bhoys who won that day
Beneath the Lisbon Sun?
The greatest team, we've ever seen,
When the Lions roared and won !

Though the years have passed, we still look back
With honour and with pride
On Walfrid's dream and the great Jock Stein
Who won Europe's greatest prize
Now Celtic fans, who've sang with me,
Of Larsson and McStay
Remember Stein and Walfrid's dream
And the 25th of May

Where are the bhoys who won that day
Beneath the Lisbon Sun?
The greatest team, we've ever seen,
When the Lions roared and won!

PAT MARRINAN
by e-mail

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tricolour debate

Dear NTV

While I have no problem with seeing the saltire flying at The Park, I do suspect that the 'debate' has more to do with an ongoing and long-standing campaign which seeks to remove as much Irishness as possible from the club.

This campaign, waged for years by tabloid journalists and their dupes among the support, insists that there is something wrong, in fact shameful about professing, never mind celebrating, Irishness. To some in this country Irishness is associated with violence, criminality, ignorance and squalor. Thankfully this attitude is now openly held only by a small, but still vocal, minority.

The problem lies, in my opinion, with the greater number who perhaps unconsciously still believe in this grim stereotype . The saltire is a proud and dignified symbol of nationhood and should be accorded respect as such, but not at the expense of our Irish heritage which is equally proud, and equally meaningful.

I sent this to the Celtic View, but don't expect they'll use it, even though I watered it down quite a bit.

The pervasive anti-Irish feeling in many parts of Scotland would almost be funny if it weren't so depressing. This often finds expression in a rejection of anything green. I know kids who won't use a green pencil because, 'My auntie would kill me!'

An adult in a responsible position, on being told that the local Catholic school were using a textbook which looked at the issue of abortion, expressed amazement, before sneering:'Or aboarshun, as they would say'.

The first time my dad used his new green and white clothes pole, an in-law asked if that was the only colour it came in.

These are trivial examples, perhaps, but I would argue that they point to a serious, significant underlying problem in Scottish society. Nil by mouth they say. I believe that until this ridiculousness is verbalised, opened up to the light of day and seen for what it really is, that this country will never wake up.

PHONEYBHOY
by e-mail

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bright idea

Dear NTV,

With regard to David Murray's recent adventures in the transfer market during the January window. I might go to Fopp to buy a CD today. It is labelled as costing £7, but I think I might take it up to the desk and see if they will accept £3.50 for it. If they don't I'll have a moan about it and make out to everyone else in the shop that they are being unreasonable and make the shop manager feel he has to justify why he wouldn't sell me it on the cheap. I'll then get all my media pals to gang up on the manager and make out that he's denying the CD a fantastic opportunity and ruining its prospects for the future by leaving it in 'limbo'.

Then I might go back the next day and see if he will give me it for £4. This improved (!) offer from me, will consist of me paying £1 on the day, and three more weekly instalments of £1 over the next three weeks. If I like the CD then at some point in the future I might give them another £1. Next time there is a new CD out I fancy, I won't admit that it's me being unreasonable and try the whole thing again.

DAVID MURRAY'S MOTTO (Revised Edition) - 'If Celtic put down a fiver, I'll put down a pound coin up front and then four monthly instalments of a pound with an option for 50p for a fifth month.'

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england job

Dear NTV,

I am sure that, save for the English/unionist fringe from Castle Greyskull, most of Scotland could unite in supporting big Eck's nomination for the English job post-Sven.

TOM D
by e-mail

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