letters 108

ticket to ride

Dear NTV,

How many more thousands of Celtic fans have the same problems as we do getting tickets for certain matches, based, as we are, in England? The board might say that they are always open and willing to listen to suggestions, but when I mentioned there should be two separate ballots for season ticket holders, one for Scottish based fans and one for fans based in England, Ireland and Wales (those who have to book days off work, flights, ferries, trains, hotel accommodation and not just hop on a bus from East Kilbride, Castlemilk, Easterhouse and the like) their response was that 'it would not work'.

So that's it then? That is the 'open to all suggestions' theory? Who 'arranges' the distribution of away match tickets? The reason I ask this is that in the Bar we use in Bedford there are six season book holders. Not one ticket has been made available, in any ballot, for either a Rangers game or European away game for over two years. When we travel to home games we meet people who have been to 3-4 European or games v Rangers at Ibrox in the last season. Is the 'ballot' a manual draw or an electronic draw?

This is the same with SPL games. We are lucky to receive five tickets a season between us. However, when I picked up my season book in September, there were two lads who were in to pick up their tickets for their fourth consecutive away game. Who is responsible for the distribution of current up to date information within the Ticket office to the persons manning the phone lines?

Time and again our members here are being given contradictory information when seeking information or tickets. Now, I'm am not one to say that things just seem a tad biased against the Celtic fanbase south of the border, but time and again I hear from Celtic fans who are either disheartened or disgusted with the lack of support/help shown to them because of their Postcode.

I appreciate that the Club has a large supporter base and it is impossible to please every fan all of the time. However, as season book holders and shareholders, when are we to be afforded the same considerations as our relations who are residing North of the Border?

One last point before I bore you completely. What security measures are in place, to prevent the forward sale of tickets issued to staff at the club? The reason I ask is that I know of at least 40 Celtic Fans from the Bedford area who are travelling to Stuttgart on the 27th and have just purchased their tickets from a London Based Agency for £65 each. Someone is making a killing, and it's costing our fan base outside of Scotland an arm and a leg each season to support our club. A reciprocal approach would be a start building the bridges that have been worn away by the apathy and inconsiderate attitude shown to our fans down here for years.

I would be encouraged if our caring board of directors consider the matters that I have raised and maybe reply to me directly, if they are not too busy running our club.

Yours in Celtic
DAVE MARTIN
Bedford college of the third eye

Dear NTV,

Re: the campaign to consign the Daily Rectum to the dustbin of history. Surely people have better things to do during their tea breaks than skimming the DR?

Guess what - the Laptop Loyal cut and paste their 'scoops' from press releases, the internet and Ceefax. If we all followed suit and accessed these sources and sales plummeted, the Laptop Loyal would have to offer some analysis of the state of the beautiful game in your local post-industrial wasteland in order to justify their expense accounts.

They could, for example, remind the SFA that the 19th Century ended some time ago; the days of Shuggie and Duggie walking to the game after their shift down the pit, shipyard or engineering works are history. Just ask that nice Mr. Finnie. They could point out that people own wheels and that anyone who can read and count can use public transport. Ergo, clubs say five, or even ten miles apart could groundshare, or even merge. They could play the tartan card: just because our neighbours have four divisions doesn't mean we have to ape them. They might then posit two divisions of 18 clubs each, arguing that, say, Airdrie and Albion Rovers, Alloa and East Stirling, Cowdenbeath and Dunfermline, Stenhousemuir and Falkirk merge. They might speculate on whether a new supermarket, DIY mega-warehouse or multiplex cinema might benefit some of the aforementioned places more than a struggling football club.

Or would joined-up writing be too much trouble?

Yours in (numberless) hoops,
DR. HUGH WANTSTANO,
London

Celts on film

Dear NTV,

Football films have always been among my favourites (I've already written a short article about football films for the Pele fanzine 'The Black Pearl') and I was wondering if there were any films or TV programmes that involve Celtic FC.

The only Celtic-related TV series I ever came across was shown in the mid-1980s on a neighbour's Dutch TV channel. It was called 'Stookie' and in this STV children's series an ugly-looking youth with a strange Charlie Nicholas-style haircut was wearing a Celtic jersey all the time (Are you sure it wasn't Charlie Nicholas? ed).

As far as I remember - it was shown a long time ago - Stookie was living with his mother in one of Glasgow's working-class areas and had trouble with local street gangs and burglars. He also made friends with a middle-class girl (Kirsty) and they both did a lot of birdwatching on the banks of the River Clyde.

It would be very kind of you if you or any of your readers could provide any information on 'Stookie' or any other Celtic-related films or TV series.

Yours
BERND STEFES
Willich Germany

Can anybody out there help? bemused ed

boycott

Dear NTV,

Further to a boycott of untruthful media, I know huns who boycott the Retard calling it the Daily Rebel, so it would be good if it got really ignored until they started giving us the truth and turn out quality journalism. (I'm romantic).

Out of all letters in NTV 107 concerning a boycott I would totally agree with G.McSherry. Don't react to them - that is what they want. Like those morons on Radio Snide. I know it is hard not to react, but if they don't get comments on Radio or letters in the press then advertisers will not know if we are listening or not. There would be panic and a reduction in revenue paid for by advertising. I would not advertise in this form of media if I thought that because of a perceived bias I was losing a considerable amount of possible customers thanks to the actions of people who think they and only they know anything about football.

I cite an example today from the Sun, namely that sleaze Leckie commenting on the attendance at the League Cup semi-final: 'Old Firm final Oh, and a ticket scramble naturally. Just you wait and see. The greatest fans in the world and the we arra people will be moaning their face off at the rubbishy (didn't know that was a word) allocations given to their clubs. Don't they know how many of us there are? We could fill this place four times over. Well as far as I am concerned they should get as many as they sold for the semis - that's about 20,000 for the Huns (his own word) and 14,000 for Celtic.'

This is the same man who, when a smaller team reaches a final against the old firm, is screaming for equal ticket allocation. These people have no morals or principles and print what ever shite they want. Readers partly pay for his salary. We are not asking for preferential treatment just truth and honesty, and if they have opinions on any aspect of football try and keep it the same standard for everyone. BOYCOTT is the only way. If we took Leckie's point, and say, St.Mirren played Motherwell in the final each individual supporter could have a section each.

Regards
FRANK HARVEY
by e-mail

readers' tips 1

Dear NTV,

Carrying on with the theme of how to be more green by using up old Daily Records (NTV 107), I find that using unread Daily Records (so that you can't be brainwashed) to help dry out my shoes is the perfect solution. Not only do they get your shoes nice and dry during this wet winter but they also help the shoes to keep their shape, which saves me a fortune on corn plasters.

The tried and tested method which I have spent many years developing is as follows: Take the front and back page and tear into a strip 12 inches by 4, then screw up into a ball and push firmly down into the toes of the shoes. Next, with the piece of front/back page you have left over, screw this into a ball and again push it tightly into the shoe ensuring it meets up with the first piece. You then take a full page and screw this up tightly and place into the shoe. Carry on doing this until the shoe is full. Any remaining newspaper can be used for any other shoes which may have got wet. Place your shoes in the airing cupboard until the following morning, when hey presto, your shoes are dry and still in shape, and it's all thanks to the Daily Record.

But what do I do with the balls of damp newspaper? I hear you ask. Place these back into the airing cupboard until dry and use them as firelighters, thus saving another fortune on non-environmentally friendly paraffin fire lighters.

Yours Faithfully
DOCTOR MARTIN
Treadright Street
Wellington

readers' tips 2

Dear NTV,

Finding the cost of toilet paper is rather expensive for something you flush down the loo, I decided to try out different newspapers to wipe my posterior with. The Daily Record came out on top because it was soft, strong and very absorbent, whereas other newspapers, although a far better read, tended to smudge and smear rather than wipe.

Also it feels great to put the Daily Record back where it came from - the sewers.

Yours faithfully
WILLIAM CRAPPER
Looe.

brass neck

Dear NTV,

In view of the incredible disparity in the number of penalties awarded to The Forces Of Darkness this season alluded to in your referee statistics article in NTV 107, your readers might be interested in a story concerning Inter Milan vice-president Giacinto Facchetti.

Facchetti has been quite outspoken in recent months, claiming that his counterpart at arch-rivals Milan, Adriano Galliani, is using his powerful position to influence referees into giving penalties in favour of the Rossoneri . Galliani is the president of the Italian Football League, and this season Milan have had nine penalties, compared to Inter's tally of just two.

'The problem regarding Galliani's position is still unresolved,' Facchetti was quoted as saying in the Gazzetta dello Sport. 'A balance of nine penalties in favour and none against in seventeen matches represents, in my opinion, an embarrassing tally - not only for us, but also for other adversaries (of Milan). I'm not calling into question Galliani's great abilities as a manager, his honesty, nor the strength of his team. But I find it impossible not to ask myself the question: how come he doesn't feel embarrassed?'

We can only wonder what Facchetti would make of the situation in the SPL.

Yours in Celtic,
THE INTER MILANDA FAN CLUB
Glasgow

hopping mad

Dear NTV,

I was intrigued to read the comments of our one-time Aussie loon Mark Viduka following his international side's humiliation of England the other night. On the subject of Eriksson he is quoted as saying: 'I thought maybe he was going to change his mind because they were in trouble. If I'd been on a team losing like that, I don't think I would have wanted to go off. It would have been a pride thing.'

Is this Mark Viduka related to the one who once wore the Hoops and who wouldn't go back out for the second half of the infamous Caley game? I think we should be told.

RALF HARRIS
2 Little Bhoys CSC