letters 103

tugging the heartstrings

Dear NTV,

I have just returned from the gig at the Armadillo (SECC), drinking a cheeky wee Gin and preparing myself for the AGM tomorrow. Although I was, at first, against another rehash of the Celtic dream team video live, I changed my tune after the ticket was reduced to 10 euros and witnessing the sheer enjoyment on the face of of the auld yin (my 70 year old grandmother - season ticket holder!) shed many a tear over the elevation of Murdoch (RIP), Caesar, McGrain, Jinky and the rest to what we already knew, The Celtic's official greatest XI.

It was fantastic watching a clearly bemused Henke Larsson being filled in by Buzz Bomb that Jinky's Greatest Celtic Player Ever speech included a mention that the King of Kings was not only a great player but that "he puts in a shift". High praise indeed.

I must admit the slick corporate presentation of all things Celtic did pull many a heartstring of the Celtic gathering. However, the highlights remained, with the speeches of dignity and class by men such as Fallon, McNeill, McGrain, McStay, Chalmers and Johnstone.

Although most of the middle aged cynics that surround me in the North Stand - sitting with arms folded complaining at most home league matches - would argue that this was a rip off, I was left reminded what Celtic is to the men who made our wee club great!

Yours, early twenties, half cut, and ignorant
TONY TACTICS
by e-mail

ta ta Europe

Dear NTV,

Admissions first; I'm a bluenose and obviously laughed heartily at your euro demise - I'm sure you expect nothing less. However, I write now pleading that Rangers and Celtic do something to get out of the feeble Scottish league set-up.

For years I'm sure most Celtic fans scoffed when we bluenoses suggested that playing in a weak (I'm being generous here) domestic league was a huge factor in some embarrassing, but highly predictable, exits from Europe. Are you beginning to see the truth?

Weekly encounters against old hairy-arsed bastards mixed with enthusiastic, but non-shaving, teenagers simply doesn't prepare you for even moderate European opposition, where players are invariably skilful, intelligent and, perhaps most importantly, able to execute skills at speed. We've had the likes of Vidmar, Munro, Wilson and Dawson tumbling over in a confused manner as teams of Swiss, Turks and Swedes (not the world's strongest by any means) run amok, particularly when we are trying to defend a precarious home lead. You'll know better than me who can't cut the mustard in your team (Douglas, Lennon and Hartson would be my nominations), but these players are never 'found out' in domestic games.

Recent events have shown that a solution isn't easy, but if both teams are to truly be 'top' teams escape is essential. I would move heaven and earth to get some, ANY, entry into the English set-up, even if that means a lower league and no European entry (a minimal loss, I'm sure you would agree?!)

I'll end, hoping your loss isn't hurting too much... just wait till a nippy team of Russians give you the old heave-ho out of the UEFA cup in September; that's when real pain begins.

Cheers,
BASEL BRUSH-OFF (will the Daily Record use this one??)
by e-mail

the world's greatest tour

Dearest NTV,

Carrying on from the last issue about the free tickets to tour castle Greyskull, I have been informed of the sucess of the fund raising event. As you will recall, bids were invited to raise money for charity for three prizes; six tickets for the Celtic v Killie game, a similar number of tickets for a Kilmarnock home game and the Rangers prize, for which the Ibrox millionaires had generously donated fifteen tours of Castle Greyskull (monetary value approximately £37.50). Sealed envelopes were handed in with the prizes going to the highest bidder.

All Celtic's tickets were snapped up, as were Kilmarnock's, both of which raised a couple of hundred quid for the charity concerned. Unfortunatly, there was only one bid made for the Castle Greyskull tour which was for... £1.50.

If any of your readers would like to help raise funds for this charity it's not too late to get on the tour. But hurry, there are only 14 places left!

Yours faithful through and through,
TIM
still somewhere along the M6

ntv reporter is biased shocker!!

Dear NTV,

While browsing through issue 102 I tumbled upon the match report of the 'Tic's game against Partick Thistle. As a member of the Maryhill bourgeoisie I am disappointed that NTV's contributor has apparently stooped to an accuracy of reporting that is more usually associated with the Daily retard, i.e. biased. (Paul Shiels biased?? surely not - sarcastic ed)

Notwithstanding the fact that "Those Celts mingling with the home support" shouldn't have been in the Jackie Husband Stand as it is reserved for Jags fans and other followers of lost causes, I refute totally the impression that abusive chants were directed against Celtic's Mr. Peroxide. I admit, reluctantly, that a few vile and unnecessary remarks were directed at Neil Lennon. However, I would like the Celtic fans that couldn't be at the home of football that afternoon to be aware that the vast majority of Thistle fans had applauded Lennon as he wealked on to the pitch to warm up. Result: Bourgeoisie 1, Bigots 0. To imply that the Jags fans collectively abused the player is totally without foundation.

As for the game itself, NTV's reporter should have the honesty to concede that the 'third world football' to which the assembled masses were exposed was attributable to the two poor teams on the pitch, and only one of them has the excuse that they are financially poor.

And "middens that pass for football stadia"? Was this guy actually there? I hope that 'Tic fans - always welcome at Firhill - enjoyed the comfort of the new stand and that they will reminisce about their trips to Maryhill when they are watching Nationwide League Division 1 (0r 2, 3 or 4?) football in the future.

Good luck Neil Lennon. have a good season Celtic.

Yours,
COLIN CAMPBELL
Knightswood.

nonsense over sectarianism

Dear NTV,

Inspired both by a recent letter I received from Ian McLeod and by statements from Peter McLean of Nil By Mouth, I recently confronted a carriage full of Rangers supporters who were singing outrageously sectarian songs on a subway train in Glasgow. I politely demanded that they desist from singing these songs straight away otherwise I would be forced to make a number of citizens arrests.

I'll be able to speak again once they remove the plaster which is presently encasing my entire body and I should be out of traction by the year 2012. If only Peter had been with me I'm sure we could have started throwing them off the train ten at a time to set an example.

DONNY BROOK
Ward 4