hackwatching

record pm makes calamity out of crises

Got a copy of the Rectum PM newspaper recently - a perfect example of huns with laptops. Incidentally, Keech Jackson started his match report of the 7:0 win over St Mirren with a reference to the 5-0 Artmedia game... EH??

Typical understated reaction in the Rectum PM to Celtic’s result against St. Mirren - a double page spread under the headline “FREAK”. Celtic suffered a freak result and it was the 7-0 win not the 0-1 defeat by Murdo McLeod.

A 7-0 win was also rare in Martin O’Neil’sl days or even Jock Stein or any other manager you care to think of. So what’s your point caller? Basically that Strachan is rotten.

This is in amongst the Majid “we can win the league” warcry - actually to be fair to Majid he says some cliched stuff about the league not being over (which it isn’t) and the Daily Retard announces a warcry of “we can win the league! ..er ...Rangers can win the league!”.

A couple of other good headlines to supplement the FREAK double page: “8 WINS IN 17 GAMES” - yes not very good by Celtic standards. However, we are still top of the league. Could you go away with your laptop please and dig up some stats about the team whose record is only good enough to be 2nd in the league?

Across the page and it’s “CUPS AND MUGS” - “Celtic’s defeat by St.Mirren is the latest in Gordon Strachan’s list of cup calamities.” The Rectum then helpfully lists aforementioned “calamities”

Artmedia 0-5; Calamity? Yup.

Clyde 1-2; Calamity? Aye

Falkirk 1-1; out on pens to a 1st division team at the time so, very poor. Aye, I suppose a calamity.

Celtic 0-2 Hearts; top six team. Don’t think this is classed as a calamity. Is losing 4-2 at Swinecastle a calamity too?

Celtic 0-1 Aberdeen; losing to a top six team, hardly a calamity. Is losing 0-2 in a last day of the season title decider and not having won at Pittodrie in about four years a calamity?

St.Mirren 1-0; Celtic losing to another SPL team is not very good but not a calamity. Is losing to St.Mirren 1-0 at Love Street in the SPL a calamity or is it only a calamity to lose to St.Mirren in the Scottish Cup?

Another great example of the Laptop loyal hypocrisy. Print articles like this about how rubbish Gordon Strachan is, how he’s got the worst record over eleven and a half games since 1962, all the wee digs and snipes because he treats you with the contempt you deserve at press conferences, push the propaganda offensive against him then... when some fan calls a phone-in to have a go... throw your hands up in horror at these Celtic bigots who can’t accept Strachan because he’s not Celtic minded.

Perfectly illustrated by the Retard hotline next to all this with a few, “I can’t believe fickle Celtic fans calling for Strachan’s head,” calls and just for good measure a few, “St Mirren not getting the credit they deserve,” calls, as if Celtic fans actually enjoy having this stuff plastered all over the papers.

Completely brazen unashamed Rangers propaganda we get from the Scottish media. Goebbels doesn’t have a look in.

More paranoid ranting available at www.celticparanoia.blogspot.com

 

TONY BANANAS & HACKWATCHER