hackwatching

raman and stv

19 February
8AM - Radio Snide reports that Barry Ferguson scored Rangers’ first goal against Hearts in the CIS cup semi final the night before, after “claims of handball”.

I hear the newsdesk at Snide are also looking onto “claims” that Princess Diana died in a car crash and the moon is not made of cheese. Of course if Scott McDonald had done the same thing Snide would still be undecided as to whether it was a handball or not. Aren’t we?

Billy Dodds neutral comment on the BBC as the coverage unfolded was “aye but you can’t complain about that finish”.

Eh..I think you’ll find we can Billy, especially when Shunsuke Nakamura is practically hung, drawn and quartered in the media for scoring a late free-kick against St.Mirren which the Laptop Loyal, in their fury at Celtic denying the Gers a six point lead at the top of the SPL, deemed to be a “controversial” free-kick (i.e. a free-kick awarded to Celtic late in the game).

Press
The back page of the Sun was on good form too with a banner backpage headline - “BORING CELTS”. The excuse... er ..sorry rationale, behind this story being some comments from the Barca camp concerning the fact that ...em.... Rangers ... played 10 men behind the ball home and away when they played Barca (at the time though the Scottish media portrayed this as Wattie’s tactical genius and an achievement almost on a par with winning the trophy - 180 minutes without scoring we Celtic fans could only look on in wondrous awe and jealousy).

Sharing the same back page with this ever so slightly negative headline was “Boyd - Let me at them in Athens”. Kris Boyd begs Wattie to let him score a hat-trick against the Greeks in the away leg. Of course we know how Walter always puts the emphasis an all-out attack when the Gers play in Europe, in contrast to ‘BORING’ Celtic.

Raman and STV
The top story on STV sports bulletin provides a nice confidence boost for ..em Barcelona as it was reported that Samuel E’to was gunning for Celtic. Raman reported breathlessley that E’to has scored against Celtic before and has now vowed to do it again. Sorry to be a paranoid pete and all that Raman, but at no stage did Samuel Eto say this - what he actually said was that they (the Barcelona team) were coming to Celtic Park score and more mundane cliched utterances about how they never play for a draw and always go looking for the win. You know, the kind of patter that Barry or Wattie often come out with prior to an Orcs’ home European tie, before going out in their usual 4-5-1 formation and getting another 0-0 draw.

Anyway, I would honestly not have been surprised if Raman had said “and lets hope he does it again” as it would have fitted in perfectly with the tone of the report. Good to know the media are right behind us in Europe and are there with a wee morale boosting story if need be.

In actual fact, a story of great significance was totally missed by STV Sport and almost everyon else. Juan Laporta (the Barcelona president) made the following statement -

The Celtic supporters are fantastic, in fact the best travelling supporters in the world, as we have seen many times. We can assure Celtic supporters they will receive a very warm welcome when they visit the city. I know that Celtic supporters are extremely passionate about their club, a club which I believe, like FC Barcelona, is different.”

This was not mentioned on STV Sport, in any Scottish newspaper or practically any other Scottish media outlet. I suppose though, if you have an agenda to portray one set of fans who have recently disgraces themselves yet again on European travels as just as bad as their UEFA fair play award winning neighbours, you underestandably wouldn’t be terribly keen to give this statement much publicity

However Raman wasn’t finished yet. The customary review of the previous weekend’s SPL action included this gem - after footage of Celtic’s second goal in the 3-0 defeat of Hearts, Raman commented that “and the Hearts defence were posted missing again”

Not sure if Raman is trying for a slot at the Edinburgh Comedy Festival this year as Celtic’s third goal involved a neat piece of skill by McGeady (closely marked by a Hearts defender) to play in Andreas Hinkel, who then beat two defenders before firing a powerful shot into the far corner. Or maybe they were Celtic players cunnigly disguised in Hearts jerseys? Or maybe it’s just STV’s usual anti-Celtic spin.

Moving on to Raman’s favoured subject, Rangers, footage was shown of captain Bazza’s pre-match press conference ahead of the second leg of the Orcs’ tie with Panathinaikos. In contrast to the disgraceful arrogance and “Greek Cheek” displayed by the Panathinaikos coach Peseiro before the first leg, who stated that he thought his team could beat Rangers, a dignified and statesmanlike Barry told the press (with the Scottish contingent gathered eagerly around his rectum) that “I certainly believe that we can win the UEFA Cup this season”. A sensible and modest statment from the captain of Dignity FC yet again.

More paranoid ranting available at www.celticparanoia.blogspot.com

 

TONY BANANAS & HACKWATCHER