hackwatching

my imperfect cousin

Tue 12th Feb 2008 - More evidence of the papist UEFA conspiracy and vendetta against the famous Glasgow Rangers comes courtesy of the Daily Rectum’s website (above)

Two very obvious points spring to mind that the Scottish press seemed very reluctant to mention a few weeks ago:

1. The proposed transfer to Fulham is against the rules.. It doesn’t matter if he only played 70 minutes for Lens, 160 minutes or 160 games, another transfer of this player is against the rules.

(For a more succinct summary of the situation see the comments from Guy Roux from the BBC’s website opposite page)

2. If the transfer of Cousin would indeed, “leave Rangers plans in tatters” for the UEFA cup tie - why are questions not being asked of the manager and club? If Cousin is such an important cog in the machine why are Rangers so desperate to sell him? Why is this question not asked in the press? Why is this story spun to portray FIFA as the bad guys carrying out a cruel vendetta against the innocently naive Scottish club? After all if Rangers had their way Cousin would be gone by now.

By the way, the answer to all of the questions above is the same.

The article itself by that well known neutral Rangers TV studio expert, Keith Jackson, begins - “WALTER SMITH may ask Daniel Cousin to fire Rangers towards European glory tomorrow”

I would suggest that what Walter will ask, will be more along these lines -

“We’re going with 4-5-1 at home again, so can you run about like a blue arse fly up front all night yourself with no support? We’ll take you off after an hour when you’re knackered and look really bad because you’ve been outnumbered 4 to 1 up front. The loyal will probably boo you off, but his is OK because then I’ll have a scapegoat if it all goes pear shaped again like Lyon. Every so often we’ll punt the ball to the back post for mad Lee to try a header and claim for a penalty so you’ll get a wee rest now and again.”

The tabloids continued with their stream of hunnic paranoia on the Wednesday (13th Feb) -

The Sun - Andy Devlin, “DAN DOWN THE PAN - WALTER SMITH has hit out at dithering FIFA chiefs for throwing his UEFA Cup plans into chaos. The Rangers gaffer will revert to plan B against Panathinaikos tonight after his hopes of picking Daniel Cousin were dashed”

Of course the Gers manager would’ve been free to pick Cousin as part of the implied plan A if UEFA had got the finger out and sanctioned the transfer a fortnight ago.

Oh no, wait.....

The Daily Retard takes a similar line. Hack David McCarthy is outraged - “DAN’S LEFT IN LIMBO - WALTER SMITH will leave Daniel Cousin in the football wilderness tonight because he can’t afford to risk losing him to Fulham less than five hours before Rangers’ UEFA Cup clash with Panathinaikos”

Now what you need to bear in mind here, is that FIFA are holding a gun to Rangers’ heads and forcing them to flog Cousin to Fulham and that the player would be in much better shape to lead the Gers front line via satellite from Craven Cottage if he’d been allowed to move a fortnight ago.

Talk about Orwellian doublethink.

Finally... special merit to the Daily Mail for their back page - “GREEK CHEEK Peseiro tips his Panathinaikos side to add to Rangers’ Euro woe”

This concerns the fact that the Panathinaikos coach predicted that his own team will beat Rangers.

How dare he.

Does he not realise who his side are up against? A club of unparalleled dignity and concern for the plight of victims of child abuse.

What a disgraceful display of big-headedness and conceit. I mean I’m sure none of you will have heard any dignified huns boasting about their own team’s chances of reaching the UEFA cup final or even winning the trophy.

Oh no, wait....

More paranoid ranting available at www.celticparanoia.blogspot.com

 

TONY BANANAS & HACKWATCHER