Rangers fans must keep believing

"I exist" says tooth fairy

WORLD EXCLUSIVE
By __________
(insert your name here)

Editor's note: Most of our football writers are off work on the sick at the moment, which I am sure is in no way connected with the vast amounts of alcohol they're drinking as a result of having to cover Rangers games this season. Therefore I am asking readers of the Govan Bugle to write this month's article by themselves. Simply delete as appropriate depending on how deep the crisis has become by the time you get this.

___________ (Insert name of Rangers player here) was still insisting last night that all Rangers need to kick start their season and mount a challenege for the SPL title is a (win/ draw/ goal/ decent throw in) against ________ (insert name of opponents) on Saturday.

He was also sure that once the injury situation clears up the fans will once again begin to see the real Rangers. "I'm

"I can deliver": boss Alex McLeish enjoying the prospect of finding seasonal employment with the Royal Mail

sure that once we get (Nacho/ Marvin/ Thomas Buffel/ Alex Rae/ Gavin Rae/ Boab Malcolm FTP) back in the side that it will spark our title challenge."

__________ maintains that the league can still be won on the last day of the saeason the way it was last year. "We are only (one/ two/ three/ a few/ hunners) of results away from turning things round and (winning the league/ mounting a challenge for a Champions League spot/ getting a place in the UEFA Cup/ staying in the top six/ avoiding the drop) so we have to keep (believing/ praying/ deluding ourselves/ taking halucinogenics)."

"The fans pay good money so they've every right to (boo/ foam at the mouth/ hit me with a pie) but they have to realise that we're all on good money here." (Surely 'Hurting as well?'- Confused Ed)