PO Box 306, Glasgow, G21 2AE, Scotland


Dear NTV,

Have any of your readers ever noticed the remarkable resemblance between Worzel Gummidge and Bert Konterman?

Dare I suggest than one is a hopeless buffoon with a terrible line in clothes and haircuts while the other is a randy scarecrow?

The Coconut Shy


Dear NTV,

Have any of your readers noticed the remarkable resemblance between Montgomery Burns, nemesis of Homer Simpson, and Chick Young, arse-licker in chief to the powers that be at the Death Star?

Check it out as soon as they remove Chick's head from Rod Stewart's sphincter.


Dear NTV,

I was struck during Lorenzo Amaloser's petulant display of dissent at Ibrox during the 2:0 victory there with the thought that the big Italian stopper was not only one of Celtic's best players on the day but also by his striking resemblance to a character in Star Trek.

Dare I suggest that one is an unreconstructed capatalist wide boy who hangs about with a bunch of losers while the other spends most of his time on the Starship Enterprise.

Yours from the Holodeck,
Orbiting planet Ralgex 7 (a hot place in the Universe if ever there was one!)

Dear NTV,

Of all the recently unearthed works by Leonardo da Vinci now touring the nation's art galleries, surely his finest must be the portrait he did of Wim Jansen as a teenager.

Yours in decadent hedonism