2001: a spaced out odyssey

George of the Jungle takes a misty-eyed look back at 2001

If you are old enough to remember 1967 without the need for regression hypnosis, the promptings of elderly relatives or a video from the Celtic commercial department (I swear there are 12 year-olds out there who have watched some of these things so often they can sound as though they actually saw the Lisbon Lions in the flesh) then 2001 may not quite have been the best year of your Celtic - supporting life.

But it must have come bloody close!

In the league, only two domestic defeats in the calendar year - both in meaningless games at the fag end of the Season and excused in fits of post-celebratory Champagne-induced largesse - is all the testimony required to the consistency and will to win of Martin O'Neill's Celtic.

In the domestic cups, both finals were won in convincing style, one with ten men and the other in a canter against OFM's would-be nemesis.

The net result was a treble celebration for the first time since 1969, which was so enjoyable that we wouldn't fancy hanging around for another 30-odd years before the next one.

Celtic's dominance of the game in Scotland was also mirrored by an almost complete subjugation of Dick AdvocaatÕs Rangers side. Five consecutive defeats of Team Zonkonia throughout the year has rendered the perennial Old Firm tussle about as close as Muhammed Ali versus Gerry Quarrie.

Among the individual achievements perhaps Henrik Larsson's 53 goals last season stand out most, but defensively the team let in a miserly eight goals from January to the end of last season and have only conceded seven goals in the first 18 league matches of this campaign. It's a tremendous testament to their abilities both individually and as a unit - and remember, this is the Celtic defence we're talking about here.

The average home league gate throughout 2001 continued to be almost 60,000, further boosting the club coffers and confirming our status as one of the biggest draws in World Football. As well as reducing the debt we would hope that some of this cash could be used by the manager to further improve an already dominant squad.

Of course we were assured that all of this was mere blip in the natural world order - a localised el nino effect that would give way once the new season started to clear blue skies over Ibrox.

Well, here we are nearly halfway through the league programme and looking at Celtic having played 18 league games and winning 17 of them, including their last 14 in a row. All at a time when the team also had to play regular Champions League fixtures. Looks like that trough of high pressure is set to hover over the Death Star for a wee while yet.

There were some lows during the year, but talk of 'lows' in the context of what has been achieved by O'Neill and his players must be measured against some of the lows of previous years. Raith Rovers, Falkirk, Inverness Caley Thistle... these are lows.

Narrowly failing to qualify for the second group stage of the Champions' League as fourth seeds? Nah, not really going to have you pacing the house at four in the morning wringing your hands and beseeching the Lord to take away the pain in the same way as the aforementioned nightmares on Janefield Street is it?

Don't forget that if it wasn't for a combination of Italy's foremost Greg Luganis impersonator and the most incompetent German official since Colonel Klink, the inept commandant in Hogan's Heroes, we'd have gone through.

The Champions League brought the club some tremendous exposure throughout the continent - the Juve game at Parkhead was the most entertaining of all the group matches - and did a lot to enhance the reputation of the team and the fans.

Similarly, losing on penalties to Valencia in the UEFA Cup didn't exactly have us all constructing nooses out of our tear-sodden hankies. It was a great night, and as far as reputation goes, see the above paragraph.

So idyllic was Paradise this year that some fans took it upon themselves to get in a serious strop about Celtic's new kit - one of two designs launched in 2001. The new home kit was launched on March 15th at midnight. Presumably this was to attract the undead pound, since vampires and their ilk rarely get a chance to purchase these items hot off the press, so to speak. It sold in huge numbers but some supporters groups were threatening a boycott.

The outcome of the Hoopless Hoops controversy was that the Commercial Department invited fans to come and talk about future strip design in "Celtic Focus Groups" (CFGs) by means of a "new product development group questionnaire" distributed in Pravda. On my application form, beside the box which asked "How do you believe you can benefit the group?" I replied that because of the Kellys and McGinn I had been experimenting with hallucinogenic drugs for many years and that my aesthetic judgement was now so far impaired that I was seriously thinking of applying for the post of head of Celtic away strip design at Umbro.

I never received a reply to my new product development group questionnaire. It probably went straight into the portable metallic waste disposal management receptacle.

As this year of years draws to its close Celtic find themselves 13 points clear of Rangers with a game in hand. While Livingston and Rangers fight it out for second place, Celtic could conceivably win the Championship before the league splits after 33 games, or before my side splits after another Rangers draw.

We finish the year in a position of great strength with an almost unsurpassed dominance of the domestic game. However we cannot afford to become complacent. It's best to continue to improve from a position of strength. We would hope that the club will continue to move forward from the impressive foundations laid down in 2001 and as well as continuing to dominate domestically will progress further in next Season's Champions League.

Who would bet against it? (Well, maybe Lou Macari)

GEORGE OF THE JUNGLE
and a Gentleman

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