cloggers crime count 2001

Pos	(2000)	team	fouls	yellow	red	pts
1	(1)	Motherwell	683	79	6	956
2	(6)	St. Johnstone	617	73	6	872
3	(5)	Dundee United	847	76	8	847
4	(9)	Rangers	574	68	9	832
5	(2)	Hibs	618	58	1	796
6	(-)	Dunfermline	528	62	5	744
7	(3)	Dundee	468	69	10	735
8	(8)	Celtic	550	46	5	718
9	(4)	Hearts	525	53	4	708
10	(10)	Kilmarnock	485	54	5	677
11	(7)	Aberdeen	499	41	7	664
12	(-)	St. Mirren	596	46	4	596

A belated congratulations to Motherwell who, under the stewardship of Billy Davis, have retained the coveted title of Dirtiest Bastards in Scotland for season 2000-2001.

In fact, thanks to the efforts of the likes of Benito Kemble, following on a great tradition of Motherwell psychopaths such as Gregor Stevens and Willie McVie, this makes a proud record of three-in-a-row for the Steelmen, so-called thanks the number of metal plates which have had to be inserted into the shins of opponents over the years.

The Motherwell points total is a testament to their consistency over all of the Dirty Bastard indices. Their red card total pales into insignificance compared with that of Dundee, but the Dens Park men simply couldn't sustain the same level of fouling throughout the season as the league champions.

Dundee United could though. Their defenders made sure that an opponent hit the deck on average once every four minutes throughout the season, a truly remarkable achievement but one which assorted referees saw fit not to punish with the same alacrity as that of their next door neighbours.

Runners-up St.Johnstone have signed Kemble for this season so they are obviously going for the big push this season... and the big trip, the big hack and the big jersey pull as well.

Rangers were the most improved team with a rise of five places thanks to their haul of nine red cards under the strict disciplinarian Dick Advocaat.

Celtic show no signs of climbing the table and will have to do a lot worse in order to improve this season.

HUGH TEXAS

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