another year in paradise

Manfred Lurker looks back at season 2000-2001.

Thatcher had the audacity to do it once on the steps of 10 Downing Street. In front of a mob baying for a 60,000 volt cable to be connected to her iron knickers she caused an affront to humanity by paraphrasing the words of St. Francis of Assisi. The cack-handed rantings of the Queen of Hell would have had a more profound ring to them had they been uttered by Martin O'Neill as he emerged through the front door of the Bunker last year to greet the battle-scarred veterans of the Walfrid car park. Something like, "Where there is chaos may we bring harmony; where there is suffering may we bring redemption; and where there is triumphalist Hunnery may we replace it with the glad hossanahs of rejoicing Timmites."

Instead he promised nothing but honest endeavour, yet managed to deliver our first treble since the Pope was an altar boy.

The first five league games of the season gave us early signs that this might be a better year than we might have dare hoped for, but even from day one at Tannadice there were vague stirrings of the emotions associated with the return of Billy McNeill and the incredible double-winning Centenary. By the time Dick's hair had been well and truly blown back into its shrink-wrap following the 6:2 game the writing was definitely on the urinal.

Even better, Martin O'Neill was continuing to peddle the line in the papers that Rangers were still the best team in Scotland. Masterful!

Any Celtic manager has to be wary of the press in this country. Kenny Dalglish's approach of trawling them round east end boozers was always going to antagonise them, but O'Neill has been stringing them along nicely since he took up the job, even in the face of their abject stupidity and malicious fantasies.

Advocaat, most of his players and the Huns in general never got over the shell shock of that afternoon, and they were soon lining up for a section 8 discharge along with the other loons (Corporal Klinger Fernando Ricksen and Bert Konterman at the front of the queue). Celtic got in front and never looked back, not even when Rangers got a result at Ibrox that was ultimately as futile as Doctor Jo's famous 5:1.

The final proof that the swingometer has gone fully over to the gree bit came at Ibrox in April. As the Celtic End went into full party mode the Huns appeared to be ready for another homage to Holland by signing up en masse for a voluntary euthanasia programme at the Amsterdam Clinic. Oh how we laughed.

O'Neill has given us a team worthy of our support again. They may not be the most flamboyant footballing side we've ever had, but they are certainly one of the toughest. They play for the jerseys and they tough it out for 95 minutes.

There are some other traditions which O'Neill's Celtic have dispensed with as well; like the one where we always have a collapse worthy of the England cricket team in October or November; or the one which sees us give away points to the SPL's relegation fodder. Only four points dropped out of a possible 54 against the teams in the bottom half of the league speaks for itself.

There is one tradition that was maintained last season, albeit a bit unfortunately. The Hoops went out of the UEFA Cup to Bordeaux at the early stages once again, although it would be fair to say that the French team can consider themselves more than a touch spawny. As a European Cup winner himself, like assistant John Robertson, OFM knows how near we are to qualifying for the group stage. As we go to print we still don't know the draw for Celtic's qualifying tie, and on paper some of the teams we could face are well scary. But, if nothing else this season O'Neill has shown that he's no respector of teams with lots more money to spend than him. His ability to motivate players and make them believe it can happen for them will more than compensate for our comparative lack of reputation in the big boys' playground.

If it's a sign of progress you're looking for then qualifying for the group stage - even if it's just for the chance to get a few maulings - is as good as it gets just now.

The big question is whether or not the squad of players OFM has at his disposal are good enough just now. The makings of a good side are certainly there. The spine of the team is solid as long as everybody stays fit . However, you'd be hard pushed to cobble together a defence should anything happen to Mjallby, Valgaren or Boyd. The thought of two of the aforementioned being out at the same is enough to induce the screaming habdabs.

The end of season game against Kilmarnock at Rugby Park showed little more than that the youngsters have potential but are nowhere near the finished article yet. A top quality goalkeeper would also appear to be an essential requirement if our ambitions are to be realised. Douglas didn't do much to show why he was an automatic choice in front of Gould while the latter looks to have gone backwards.

With Burchill on his way soon that leaves just Tommy Johnson and the weans fighting it out with Larsson and Sutton for the forward places along with Stephane Bonnes (who he? ed), so it won't be a surprise if a striker or two is on the shopping list as well..

Further weeding out will take place as the months pass - Stephane Mahe, for example, is another with an eye on the exit door - so it might take more than the four players O'Neill wants to buy if he is to have the depth of squad he would clearly like to have. It won't be easy to find an understudy for Lubo either, but there's room in the team for a creative midfield player of a similar type.

The Celtic board have thus far exhibited the kind of financial prudence that would have Gordon Brown handing the Scottish Cup to them rather than to Paul Lambert and Tommy Boyd. The thought of parting with great wadges of cash for a player or two might bring them out in a cold sweat, but the stakes are getting higher now and they've got to back Martin O'Neill.

A Celtic manager stands or falls by his results of course, but equally important are his dealings in the transfer market, and in this arena OFM has surely doen enough with his capture of Valgaeren, Agathe, Thompson and, let's face it, even Vega, to show that his judgement can be trusted completely.

At the risk of stating the blindingly obvious, Larsson is the key. If he has another season like the last one anything can happen. The fact that he's staying can arguably be seen as a sign that Celtic are no longer a selling club. It's that kind of attitude that can help instill the will to succeed, even when a European renaissance appears to be a fanciful notion.

The common concensus would also have us believe that Rangers are going to come back this season stronger than ever - although how this can be so when they have a weaker pool of players isn't really clear. They also have a manager whose response to the prospect of taking on O'Neill again has been to aoppoint a new coach renowned for his aggression and ferocity. As if they needed that round Ibrox way.

Like any army on the retreat, it's going to take all their time just to prevent it turning into a complete rout. If Martin O'Neill, with the backing of the Suits, can consolidate and build on the extraordiary achievements of last season he will be well on his way to laying the foundations for the re-establishment of a long period of Celtic success.

Then comparisons with Jock Stein, at this stage still premature, might conceivably be made in earnest.

MANFRED LURKER

back to top