of ticket rip-offs and machinations at the sfa

By devious ways
Where the exile strays
In many a land afar,
Their fancy flies
To Paradise
No matter where they are.
The Green and White,
Like a beacon light
Upon their path has shone -
The question slips
From Celtic lips
'How did the Bhoys get on?'

The above was written in 1926 and entitled 'The Question'. In 2004 the answer to the question would invariably be 'Yes' as the players show no sign of easing up in their quest to get this season's league campaign out of the way.

Good thinking as well now that the UEFA Cup is looming with its pesky Thursday nights necessitating Sunday kick-offs and the associated of risk of dropping points. That hasn't looked too likely recently, it has to be said, but if it is going to happen then last season would suggest that the most likely time is on the back of a hard midweek European fixture. And let's face it, you would have to consider any fixture against even mediocre Continental opposition would have to be harder than an SPL match.

Yes, the record books will have to be revised again following Celtic's 24th consecutive victory in the league and although the opposition are hardly La Liga standard, it's still a remarkable achievement in anybody's book.

The news from the accountants isn't quite as good, but at least the figures released by the PLC board for the last six months won't have the money men leaping from the upper storeys of the Walfrid. According to the interim report, despite higher operating profits thanks to last season's UEFA Cup run and increased merchandise sales, overall debt increased slightly to around £18.2 million, which probably will not necessitate the sale of six or seven first team stars before the start of next season (for further clarification see McLelland, John).

Chairman Brian Quinn was also at pains to point out in his accompanying statement that this financial year's performance will depend largely on further progress in the Scottish Cup and UEFA tournaments, although he expects trading numbers to be well down whatever happens. Celtic will clearly have to capitalise on the matches they have left in both cup competitions - the draw against Teplice was one of the worst we could have got from a TV revenue point of view - and most fans understand that we will have to shell out more money on top of our already over-priced season tickets.

But £29 to watch the Huns in the Scottish Cup? Has Dick Turpin managed to get a seat on the board? (memo to Dick if you have: don't let Dermot's mates watch your horse). Are Rangers really a better attraction than Bayern Munich, Lyon or Anderlecht? (£25)

We're already looking at somewhere in the region of £200 each in additional ticket sales on top of the season book money this year. Is it not about time the gentlemen on the PLC board showed a bit more imagination when it comes to raising money? For 500k a year I think I could suggest, 'Fleece the fans' at a few board meetings.

Ricksen of Dock Green

Aside from giving us another opportunity to have a laugh at the continuing discomfiture of Rangers as their season ignominiously fizzles out in a spectacular display of mediocrity, their CIS Cup semi-final at Hampden against Hibs also threw up yet another unsavoury incident involving their resident Dutch headcase Fernando Ricksen.

On this occasion, whatever was affecting his brain wave pattern prompted him to sneak up behind one of his opponents when nobody looking and land an elbow on his chops. Unfortunately for Psycho his assault, although missed by the match officials (presumably the linesman was waving to some of his mates in the crowd at the time) was captured by Channel 5's TV cameras and so it became clear the day after the game that we were going to have another of the SFA's famous 'trials by video'.

It isn't the first time this has happened - it's not even the first time that Ricksen has been subjected to this process - but this one has thrown up the kind of inconsistency at the governing body of Scottish football that has queues of Celtic fans lining up outside the paranoia department of the psychiatric hospital to voluntarily check in.

In a cack-handed attempt to generate some positive PR in the wake of Ricksen's latest aberration, McLeish announced a few days after the Hampden defeat that Rangers had dealt with the matter internally and that the player would be fined £10,000 with the money going to charity. It more or less amounted to a public admission that Ricksen was guilty and almost rendered the necessity for the video panel to review the incident redundant. The only thing left to be decided is how long a ban Ricksen will have handed down - and given that he's got some form you'd expect a hefty one.

What doesn't seem likely to happen though - and here's where the paranoia comes in - is that the SFA will do what they did when Bobo Balde was the defendant in a similar case two years ago.

Cut to Easter Road, February 2nd 2002. Big Bobo was involved in an incident with Paul Fenwick of Hibs during a melee in the penalty box as the players lined up for a corner. It was missed by the ref in the general stramash which often accompanies these set pieces but was picked up by the TV cameras. It was inevitable, as a result of the furore surrounding Ricksen's kung fu kick on Darren Young at Pittodrie a few months before, that Bobo would find himself in the video dock. But what Celtic didn't count on was the speed with which the SFA moved to bring Balde's case to a decision on his suspension.

As it happened the next meeting of the committee charged with adjudicating on such matters was not due to sit until March 20th (nearly two months later) but the SFA decided to bring Balde's case forward by a month. The official thinking behind this, according to then head of communications Andy Mitchell, was that the committee had decided to move as quickly as possible purely because it was such a 'high profile case'. It sounded pretty feeble at the time, not least because it meant that Balde would have 12 points added to his disciplinary record, would have to serve an automatic one match ban and would then have to sit out another couple of matches as well. Coincidentally these matches would include a Scottish Cup quarter final against Aberdeen and a league match against the Huns at Ibrox.

Understandably, Celtic were miffed about all this and pointed out that the SFA had not moved with quite the same alacrity during the aforementioned kung fu case. The subsequent appeal against Balde's suspension resulted in a great deal of opprobrium being heaped on the manager for playing the system and taking advantage of the appeal to have Balde available for these important matches.

Cut back to the present. The next meeting of the disciplinary committee is scheduled to meet on March 16th. Despite the fact that they are dealing with a repeat offender and that if the incident in question were captured on a CCTV camera in Sauchiehall Street then Ricksen would most probably be up before the beaks, the SFA has made no move to bring the case forward.

Not only that, but the action of his club in fining him has made the case one of the open and shut variety, unless Henry Fonda pops up in his white suit and wants to talk about it for hours.

Cynics or incurable paranoids might suggest that this might be in some way connected with the fact that Rangers have an important cup tie looming at Celtic Park, one that they must win to salvage something from the wreck of their season. Or is it that they're just not 'high profile' enough these days?

MANFRED LURKER