drink beer

Celtic's latest sponsorship deal with Coors/ Carling is the perfect retort from the club's Commercial Department to those purists among the support who throw their hands up in horror every time the Hoops are used as a high wicking, mesh ventilation, significantly lighter high polymer sandwich board. 'That'll be £49.99 thank you very much'.

First, the aesthetics of the advert itself, picked out against the green and white background in hushed tones of black and orange which blends in almost undetected. Unlike other hideous excesses, this one has all the sublety and allure you would expect from a giant American conglomerate.

The product itself - a chemically brewed mind-altering substance - is just what we as a family club would want to associated with given the part alcohol has played in stabilising family life over the years.

We are looking forward immensely to the game when Celtic run out, in their Carling emblazoned tops, to play in a match sponsored by the Scottish Health Education Group and seeing the players photographed in front of the 'Real Fans don't drink' advertising hoardings.

We are also looking forward to ensuring that the club's new sponsors get full bang for their bucks by partaking of their product at every available opportunity, especially on the way to the stadium. This might mean a night in the cells if we are spotted by the local constabulary, but the consequent criminal record and loss of employment would be a small price to pay to cement what Ian McLeod has described as 'a fantastic deal for the club.'

It's good to know that some things about Celtic are above vulgar commercialism.

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